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Baked Beans.

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  • #12805
    Ken1
        • Topics: 117
        • Replies: 990
        • Total: 1107
        • Practcally Cretan
        • ★★★★★★
        Member since: 2nd October 2006

        >One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
        apparent
        >that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
        >
        >Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
        >from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
        >told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
        >
        >On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
        >more than I could stand.
        >With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
        >the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew
        >it, I had
        >
        >consumed t three large orders of baked beans.
        >All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
        >
        >Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
        >delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
        >
        >He then *blindfolded me *and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
        took
        >a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
        rang.
        >He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
        >went
        to
        >answer the call.
        >
        >The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
        was
        >becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
        >seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
        >was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over
        >a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
        >fanned the air around me vigorously.
        >
        >Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
        >was worse than cooked cabbage.
        >
        >Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
        >I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was
        >indescribable.
        . When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the
        >end
        of
        >my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
        >placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very
        >relieved and pleased with myself.
        >
        >My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
        >returned, apologizing for taking so long.
        >
        >
        >
        >He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
        >had not.
        >
        >*At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
        >seated around the table
        >chorused: "Happy Birthday!" *
        >
        >I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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        #13177
        Trifilaki
            • Topics: 55
            • Replies: 151
            • Total: 206
            • BIC Full Member
            • ★★★★★
            Member since: 28th March 2006

            ;D

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