>One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
>that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
>Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
>from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
>told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
>On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
>more than I could stand.
>With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
>the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew
>it, I had
>consumed t three large orders of baked beans.
>All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
>Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
>delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
>He then *blindfolded me *and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
>a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
>He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
>answer the call.
>The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
>becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
>seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
>was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over
>a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
>fanned the air around me vigorously.
>Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
>was worse than cooked cabbage.
>Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
>I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was
. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the
>my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
>placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very
>relieved and pleased with myself.
>My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
>returned, apologizing for taking so long.
>He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
>*At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
>seated around the table
>chorused: "Happy Birthday!" *