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    RAPTOR
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        Member since: 6th April 2007

        IN THE YORKSHIRE POST FOLLOWING THE DEATH OF HIS WIFE. THE COUPLE HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 50 YEARS.

        The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “How Much?!!!”

        He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple” he
        explained, “my Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted owt swanky.”

        “Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.

        “Nay”, he said, “she wunt ave wanted anything la-di-da, just put;
        ‘Gladys Braithwaite died'”.

        “You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.

        “Do I? Well, put died 17th March 2015. That’ll do”.

        “It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.

        The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’.
        That’ll do”, he said.

        “You can have another four words”, the woman explained.

        “No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn’ ave wanted me to splash out”.

        “The words are included in the price”, the woman informed him.

        “Are they? You mean I’ve paid for ’em?”.

        “Yes, indeed”.

        “Well, if I’ve paid for ’em , I’m ‘avin them”.

        The obituary was duly printed as follows:

        Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th March 2015. Sadly missed. Also Tractor for sale ::).

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